Sunday, January 6, 2008

Word verification - gjrslpx(noun)

gjrslpx(n) - the small muscle found beneath the tongue that when contracted causes a large volume of saliva to squirt out of your mouth involuntarily. Tibetan monks and 7th grade boys have worked to gain conscious control of this muscle so that they can squirt passers-by at their whims.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Word Verification - hhrpqsms (noun)

hhrpqsms(n) - specialized squamous cells taken from the digestive tract of a hippopotamus. In early research, proteins extracted from these cells have had promising results in curing cancer, AIDS, herpes, spider veins, procrastination, gout, goiter, anal bleeding, and getting that obnoxious Billy Mays to shut the heck up. It is hoped that these proteins do not cause 9% of the human race to become blood-thirsty, UV light sensitive vampires.

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Word Verification - zgswut (expletive)

zgswut(exp) - word uttered by Scary Spice when asked by her agent if she'd be up for a Spice Girls reunion tour.

"Hey Scary, we just signed Posh and Ginger so the reunion tour is on...are you still in?"

"Ziggy zig ZGSWUT?????"

Monday, December 10, 2007

Word Verification - nekbox(n)

nekbox (n): A special container used by Catholic nuns to store Necco TM wafers for practicing First Holy Communion.

"Why so down, Sr. Mary Vincent? I haven't seen you looking so glum since the time you used too much starch in your whimper."

"Oh, Sr. Mary Arnold, I seem to have misplaced my nekbox and the second graders from public school will be here for CCD soon...if I don't find it we'll have to make rosaries from beads and string again. "

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Word Verification- neemrp (onomatopoeia)...

neemrp (onomatopoeia)- The sound a toad makes when tested for "girl craziness"

"But beautiful princess, how did you know THAT toad was your prince charming?"

"Because I spent a fortnight tickling the knees of all of the toads in the kingdom, and this one belched the sexiest neemrp EVER!"

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Word Verification- dgomo (proper noun)...

dgomo (proper noun)- Bingo's neglected twin brother.

"But why can't I get a song? Ruff Ruff."
"Because D-G-O-M-O, D-G-O-M-O, D-G-O-M-O sounds stupid as hell that's why! Bark Bark."

Saturday, November 24, 2007

Word Verification- lepae (n)...

lepae (n)- Genera of leopard found only in Australia and Tasmania, and like most mammals on these islands, marsupial in nature. Most widely known for the part they play in Aboriginal tribe coming of age rituals where an adolescent male must subdue a lepae, climb into its pouch and remain there for three days before being "reborn" and then considered a man.

It had been four days since Adoni had entered the pouch of the lepae he had mastered. Most of the tribe figured he had been eaten by the cub who still inhabited the pouch.

Word Verification- qiaesp (n)...

qiaesp (n) - extra sensory perception common to natives of a certain South Pacific island, one of whome found his way onto the Pequod where he became the harpooner on Starbuck's boat and the best friend to Ishmael. Qiaesp is notoriously unreliable, leading the islanders to often hide under their beds while dressing, holding premonitions that people are about to enter the room and catch them in various states of undress.

"The whale is coming, sir."

"How do you know, is it your qiaesp again, ya savage?"

"It is, sir, my brain is afire with the image of the giant fish."

"Whales aren't fish, ya savage."

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Word Verification- giqlu (n)...

giqlu (n) pre-civil rights era igloo for African Eskimo Americans; slur has since fallen out of fashion as separate facilities for whites and blacks finally disappeared throughout Alaska in 1998.

"Where's our little, Vincent?"
"Oh he's hangin' out with Jules again!"
"At his place?"
"Juneao it! Jules has the phatest giqlu this side of Anchorage!"

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Word Verification- botfz (n)...

botfz (n)- Metal-eating fungus created by the last surviving humans circa 2145 in a last ditch effort to resist the robotic masters spawned by EPIC (evolving personal information construct). The robots continued to suffer from the botfz even after resourcing the final human slaves into raw materials.

"10110001010010111010 botfz 1010001010.


Saturday, November 17, 2007

Word Verification- mgaho (greeting)...

mgaho (greeting)- A common greeting between members of tribes of natives in the islands of New Guinea Papua when stating that cannibalism, although not completely out of the question, is not in the immediate plans.

Actual entry from Margaret Mead's journal: (1938)

It was a very tense meeting. The neighboring chief should have known better than to think that his son with the second, immature head growing out of his skull would be accepted by the daughter of the home tribe. Things settled down a bit when the chief raised his hand to his body guards and said "Mgaho!" with arms crossed. Both chiefs laughed and began the rest of the ritual...

Word Verification- shuli (noun)...

shuli (n)- Australian slang term for a teasing tart; a sheila whose sole mission is to make as many blokes as possible think they have a chance with her.

"So how did everything go on your blind date last night, mate?"

"Great...until she started making eyes at every bloke at the bar! Turns out she was just your run-of-the-mill shuli!"

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Word Verification- bwtam (expletive)...

bwtam (expletive) - An expletive utilized when young males see a fine looking young woman. Usually heard when the female is passing by a large group of young males, but always heard when the female passes by a clutch of gigiloz.

"Bwtam! Hey baby...your legs'll be tired tomorrow...cuz you're gonna be running through all my dreams tonight!!"

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Word verification- wvend (n)...

wvend (n) - an ideal example of word verification, one which brings all truth and light and salvation to the entire word verification canon, an example of word verification so pure and absolute that all other word verifications are but a shadow to this word verification

"Repeat after me, my children...
It is the alpha and the omega.

It is the alpha and the omega.

The beginning and the wvend.

The beginning and the wvend.

All praise be to Achilles3.

And also with you...

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Word Verification- mtadmqjy (n)...

mtadmqjy (n)- a unit of measurement representing a very small amount of alcohol, and typically not used unless it's after midnight.

"Would you like a little more vodka in your orange juice, Ms. Kathman? "

"Oh, Becky, that'dth be great. But not too much...just a mtadmqjy for me."

Word Verification- hnhdjh (n)...

hnhdjh (n) - contortionist from the Indian subcontinent, typically - though not exclusively - of the Hindu religion.

"I opened the suitcase up, and the hnhdjh popped right out. I didn't have any clue that anybody would be able to fit in there much less stay in there for seventeen straight hours. His meditative skills are as impressive as his flexibility."

Monday, November 12, 2007

Word Verification- cspkid (proper noun)...

cspkid (proper noun)- unnamed, androgynous teenager with super ESP; currently serving as "the last resort" on CSI Miami: The Lost Episodes

"Trace blew up and we have like 2 minutes to solve this case. What now?"

"Looks we have no choice but to call cspkid. If it's not too busy figuring out it's gender."

Word Verification- gigiloz (n)...

gigiloz (n) - street vernacular referencing a group of male escorts. sometimes referred to as a clutch; as in a clutch of gigiloz

"I don't like to walk in that part of town during certain hours in the evening. It seems like every time I leave the Sharonville library, I get solicited by an entire clutch of gigiloz on the way to my car."

Sunday, November 11, 2007

Word Verification- henkoc (n)...

henkoc (n)- Slang for an androgynous farm animal, used primarily in northwestern counties of Nebraska and southwestern South Dakota.

"Paw, we need to get us some more bulls for breeding. Turns out that some o' them first boy bulls wuz really girl cows. I guess they wuz henkocs."

Saturday, November 10, 2007

Word Verification- adjjaz (n)...

adjjaz (n)- The "special sauce" in advertising that separates good campaigns from great.

"The only reason that Clear Pepsi never did as well as tested was the advertising, Jim.
Hindsight IS 20/20 but still you have to ask...where was the passion for that campaign?"

"Scratch that, boss...where in God's name was the adjjaz for that campaign?
We may never know."

Friday, November 9, 2007

Word Verification- owdladti (n)...

owdladti (n)- A Scottish gentleman who, though clearly past his prime, continues to act like a player at the local pub and alienate the women who will never date him, nor give him the time of day.

"Damnit! Everytime I walk past that owdladti, he grabs my butt with those scary, pruney hands of his...he totally creeps me out!! ICK!!!"

Word Verification- jzitsu (n)...

jzitsu (n)- The Jewish answer to ninjutsu made popular by the Jewish Federation of Martial Arts after realizing that they may have all the money in the world but nary their own kick ass fighting style.

"Did you hear that Jerry Seinfeld turned down a ton of money to revive his hit show so that he could perfect his jzitsu in Tel Aviv this winter!"

Word Verification- oamiza (interjection)...

oamiza (interjection)- Standard sentence starter for anyone talking in the 3rd person with a Jar Jar Binks flair.

"So what's crackin tonight, Chris Henry?"

"Oamiza thinks I'll be in jail by midnight fo sho!"

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Word Verification- wuujgdd (query)...

wuujgdd (query) - Question often asked by new-age Christians trying desperately to justify the actions that they already want to take, hoping that somehow they will be able to know just what God would do so that they can do it themselves.

"Would God eat the last piece of pie?

I need to know right now.

So, tell me!


Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Word Verification- jwcewued (v)...

jwcewued (v) - the action of squeezing a female sheep to the point where lanolin begins to ooze from her pores so that it can be applied to rough or dry skin.

"It's a good thing papa just sheered the ewes, it made it much easier when I jwceweued them. The squeezin's should help soothe Grandma's rash."

Word Verification- bwsnvl (v)...

bwsnvl (v)- Act of sniveling for a cause or bemoaning a state of despair from both the black AND the white perspective. Often ingenuously. Commonly used in American politics.

"Why did you leave the debate early, Chris Matthews?"

"I couldn't stand to hear Obama and Hillary try and out-bwsnvl each other again!"

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Word Verification- ocggfpi (n)...

ocggfpi (n) - plural of ocggfpus.

A large school of ocggfpi were found in the fishing nets off the Ivory Coast.

Word Verification- crpmzff (v)...

crpmzff (v)- Interjection used by over-the-hill rock singers (e.g. Rod Stewart) to announce that they have had an accident in their pants.

"I crpmzff!"

"That's okay, Mr. Stewart, I'll take care of that for you."

Monday, November 5, 2007

Word Verification- urlzoap (n)...

urlzoap (n)- Cleanser program used to scrub websites, primarily for inappropriate language.

"Make sure to wipe it down with the urlzoap before you post that website on the school server."

Word Verification- zpcplus (n)...

zpcplus (n)- Secret PC organization from the secret planet of Zinadon (not a word verification) claiming to be mastering PC secrets that will quote "bury Microsoft and the rest of the hind tit suckers".

"Just because we get our official zpcplus mail delivered to France doesn't mean we're not a force to be reckoned with, Mr. Gates."

Sunday, November 4, 2007

Word Verification- wacab (n)...

wacab (n)- A taxi service exclusively for Wabash College in Crawfordsville, Indiana.

"Good thing I had the wacab number on speed dial or I would have been walkin my ass home from Lily Library...again!"